I’m in a bit of a situation, I’ve been working as a nanny for around 2 years and have been in childcare about 5 years total. The first family I worked with was wonderful, I worked for them part time weekly for 8 months, until the mother was laid off. I did work for another family part time for three months while working with the other family, and this one was awful so I ended up quitting. I’ve now started with a new family and it’s a similar situation, but this time I really need the money and can’t quit!
The parents are super, super nice. Really very friendly and kind, however aside from the youngest who’s a toddler, the older two are horribly behaved! They do not listen to anything I say, hit, spit, scream, throw things, jump on furniture, and hit different electronics. The first day was so bad I told the parents and they told them not to to do these things, and things improved somewhat, but from what I’ve overheard and noticed is that the parents let them get away with things like screaming “no” and them or lying about situations. I’ve also heard they give their teachers at school a hard time and do the same. When I interviewed, I was told they were great kids and that they wouldn’t even know what to do if one of them hit each other….this was completely untrue!
Anyway the issue came today, horrible snow storm came in. I watch the kids an hour and half for four days a week in between parent work shifts. All the schools were closed and they were advising no one go out. I was terriffied to drive in it and felt it really wouldn’t be worth it anyway so I called two hours before and said I couldn’t make it. The one parent was very angry and irritated with me, and pushy about me comming. It wound up that the other parent picked me up and I had to find a ride back later. I was somewhat unerved by how hostile they became when I tried to call off, I haven’t missed any work or ever been late and besides that I feel that as an adult if for whatever reason (sickness, weather, car troubles ect) that I say I can not make it, well then clearly that’s my decision. They have no back up plan or flexibility and I find it somewhat rediculous considering I’m not even a fulltime day nanny. Any advice on working with this family?
I say ignore their fits. They sound as bad as the kids! And start looking for a new family. Even if things get better with this family, switch as soon as you get the opportunity because it will get bad again.
If you can’t come, you can’t come. Period. They still need you, so don’t worry about it. And just do what you can to manage the kids. Without the parents on board there’s really not a lot you can do, and you can’t change the parents mind, so just try to not let it bother you until something else comes along and then make an excuse about how this other family is paying you more or giving you more hours or something.
you should start looking for another family to work for. you seriously need to tell the parents straight up that you arent going to work with HORRIBLE children if they arent going to listen to you. tell them that and quit. seriously if you hate this family this much you need to quit this family. And they cant force you to work. thats wrong. You need to be kind but firm. if you dont want to work thats not their decision its yours. I am pretty sure they wouldnt want a sick person taking care of their kids. So I wouldnt usually say this but act horrible towards them. Let the kids do whatever they want and make a mess in their house. if they are going to act horrible to you return it. I am positive that with your experience many families will love to have you as a nanny. maybe you should consider taking care of a baby? They are mostly quiet (actually depends on the baby) and I love babies so just look into something you would enjoy doing.
Jacalyn S. Burke is founder and owner of Baby Does NYC, a blog focused on events, products, and services for parents of 0–24 month-old children. She has been featured in The Daily News, NEWS12, and the Nanny News Network. Burke has worked among Manhattan’s nannies since 2004. In 2012, she began consulting as a child enrichment coach. Burke is a graduate of Middlesex University, London, UK.