Monday Problem: Nanny’s stray text is a bombshell

Disclaimer: all emails are abbreviated and edited for clarity. When you submit to The Nanny Time Bomb please note that there will be edits. All names and info kept confidential. 

Dear Nanny X,

I’m a mess right now. My amazing nanny is not who I thought she was. It all started last week when I got this text (by mistake):

thnx can’t make it 2day ;-( she’s home … uch so annoying …

I was home working on an assignment that day. The text, I suspect, was intended for one of my nanny’s peers. I know it’s not like a major character assassination but I feel or felt that my kid’s nanny was more like a friend. We actually had fun that day just hanging out with the kids. Now I can’t help feeling that she’d rather have been anywhere rather than home with me and the kids. 

I don’t think my nanny knows she texted me or if she does she’s doing a pretty good job in hiding it. I want to bring it up but my husband said I’d be opening a whole can of worms. 

Should I let it go?

Joanna F

Dear Joanna,

everyone has texted the wrong person at least once. It’s easy to do and extremely humiliating once discovered. It’s often so embarrassing that we’d be willing to deny owning and sending the text or worse still, walk away indefinitely from the offended person.

Okay so let’s get some perspective. Your nanny wasn’t fantasizing about your husband. She wasn’t criticizing your children. And she really wasn’t even dissing you. She was just being honest with a close friend. Look to her, it was annoying that her plans to have a playdate elsewhere were scuppered. And I’m not saying that in itself is appropriate. But hanging with an employer isn’t like spending time with a friend or nanny peer. It just isn’t. You are not friends. She is employed by you to do a job. 

Honestly, if you are happy with this person caring for your children, just write this off as a silly glib comment. It’s not a bombshell. And I’m sure your nanny is mortified by her mistake. 

Nanny X

Nannies and parents, ever had a text go astray?