Nanny Problems: My boss’s husband micro-manages me

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Dear Nanny X,

I have just begun working for a family and the dad is currently unemployed. He hovers around me all the time not in a sexual way just in a micro-managing way. For instance, when I cook he pulls out all the ingredients and he watches and instructs as I cook. I’m 22 and from Ireland so I am not clue-less as to how to make pasta and chicken nuggets which unfortunately is the type of food these children eat. 

It kind of came to a head the other day when his daughter spat out the food I had made and instead of encouraging his child to eat the (perfectly good) food I had prepared he interrogated me. 

I don’t want to work in an atmosphere of control. What should I do?

Marie O



Dear Marie O,

I think you need to speak to this man and ask him if he trusts your judgments. Tell him that you need some autonomy and that he could use the time when you are home to run his own errands. He sounds like he may have some OCD issues and it could be involuntary but bringing it to his attention is your first step. 

The second step is to bring this to the attention of his wife. 

If nothing changes and he continues to micro-manage you and undermine your authority as an adult in front of the children I would advise you to seek another position. Some people do not change and that’s not your problem. 

Nanny X