Monday Problem: Do I need to go to a family function?


Disclaimer: all emails are abbreviated and edited for clarity. When you submit to The Nanny Time Bomb please note that there will be edits. All names and info kept confidential. 
 
Dear Nanny X,
 
I’ve been with this family for a year and they’re driving me crazy. I work weekdays, fixed hours, got a contract, the whole shebang. I take care of everything that affects the kids from monday to friday. I love my job. I’m polite. I’m reliable. I love the kids. I work hard. 
 
Here’s my beef … when I go home on Friday night I don’t want to get their texts, their phone calls, their emails, from the parents that is, because the kids are too little. Like every single update and photo how cute they all are, where they just went. I also don’t want to keep turning down every damn cute event they host for their kids – on my time off!
 
I have my own home, my own kids, my own husband and my own plans. Capiche?
 
I wouldn’t bother you with any of this trivial cr*p except that the mom has been dropping hints that I missed out on this and that. She asks me “Oh did you see that picture I sent you?” Like … I should feel guilty? Why should I have to say I was busy? Why doesn’t she get that I want downtime. Plus no nanny at any kids’ event never not works – you get me? It’s always work … you just dig in and do it. 
 
So my question is … how do I tell this woman that just like she doesn’t attend every BBQ or birthday party her boss hosts … I don’t want to attend her private events or respond to all her texts?
 
Frustrated nanny
 
 
Hey Frustrated Nanny,
 
I can feel your … well … frustration. It’s obvious the family is gaga over you. They miss you on weekends and they think enough of you to send you every little update. That’s cute and yes it’s also annoying but they don’t see it that way. You can’t just come right out with it either because I think you’d hurt these precious souls and I’m not being sarcastic. 
 
Polite excuses and little white lies are your only recourse. 
 
Polite excuse
I can’t come to your event xyz because I’m doing xyz. 
 
Little white lie
I didn’t get your messages because I turn my cell off on weekends it’s just my way of relaxing and focusing on my family. Why don’t you show me all the good stuff you guys do on the weekends on Monday morning when I come in?
 
I’m not a big fan of avoiding the truth but seriously these people just seem like nice friendly types who just love to share their lives with you – and telling them such things are intrusive, or annoying, well, I think will sting. 
 
Capiche?
 
Nanny X
 
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